Pop’s Eulogy

(Love for Sale)

As most of you know, mom and dad had five boys. Mom always wanted a daughter and I think maybe secretly, dad did too, because he loved all children and all children loved him, boys and girls alike. But for dad, having five boys was a dream come true. He was very proud of his boys and often introduced us as (# 1 Son which is Dan), (#2 Son, Mick),( # 3 Son, Cardell), (# 4 Son, RD), and( # 5 Son, Paul). We felt like five Chinese brothers, not English/Italians, but that was ok, because we all love our dad and we knew he was just joking around. And like the popular children’s story of the five Chinese brothers, when dad would brag about us, he had an inclination to exaggerate just a little bit. He never lied, but by stretching the truth he could make it a little more colorful and lot more fun. It was just a few days ago, when all five boys were together with our wives (probably eating Chinese food), reminiscing about dad’s fun filled talent and how the five boys inherited his wonderful ability to embellish the truth. Mary, # 3 Son’s wife, made the statement, "Cardell exaggerates a million times a day. No make that TWO million times a day." Maybe this talent has started to rub off on the wives also.

In any case, we all tend to enhance the truth a bit, everyone of us, especially when we are talking about the ones we love, the ones we are most proud of. We want our loved ones to look bigger than life so that everyone will adore them as much as we do. Well, it’s my turn now, and I have the opportunity to tell you about my father, and I can honestly say, the truth needs no exaggeration, no stretching, no embellishment. Dad was everything he appeared to be and more. He lived life to the fullest.... up to and including his very last moments. He made every second count without pretension, without fear, without guilt, and without regrets. Like Popeye, he was who he was.

So who was he? Among business associates and close friends he was known as Cardell, or Webster, or sometimes just Web. Among his family he was known as Bat or Blonde, Big Crandz, or Pop, or Dad, or Grandpa, or "old goat". And in some circles he was known as "Trouble with a capital T." He was never really trouble, but he enjoyed people so much and could be so engaging that his first meeting with a person often turned quickly to innocent banter. That is how comfortable he made people feel. He was never threatening. He was never intimidating. He never questioned your sincerity and he never gave you reason to question his.

He graduated from Denver University with a bachelors degree in business management and he loved mathematics. His favorite number was "a jillion." My brothers know what I am talking about, but for the rest of you, "a jillion" was the term he often used for the biggest number ever. When he took us fishing he would psych us up about how many fish we were going to catch. He wouldn’t say a bunch of fish, or a mess of fish, or hundreds of fish. No! He would say there are a jillion fish in that lake!!! Boy! Did we get excited! That was my Dad. He may have exaggerated a little bit, but he made life fun.

He loved sports and he shared his love with all of his five boys. From my earliest memories I recall him spending his spare time teaching us how to swim, how to throw a ball, how to make a touch down and how to hit a golf ball a jillion yards. He made his spare time, quality time. Not a weekend went by when he didn’t have some kind of activity planned for the entertainment of his children. At swimming meets, or baseball games, or in the backyard, he never yelled, he never found fault, he never pushed or pulled or made us feel anything but absolutely great. He knew that love was a tolerant teacher and his patience proved it.

Dad loved gardening. He grew flowers, vegetables, fruits, and anything he could find room for in his yard. His nurturing ability for mother nature made him seem as if he was the one instructing the birds and the bees. He taught us, (and all the neighbors), how to grow tomato plants that would produce a jillion tomatoes.

Dad loved a lot of things and one of those special little things was dessert. He would eat anything sweet. If you handed him a box of chocolates he would say, "I could eat a jillion of those." I want all of you to know, it was my DAD who taught me to eat dessert first. But dad would eat most anything. I used to tease him. I’d say, "Dad, you take "Queenie" (Queenie was his dog for those of you who don’t know.) "Dad. You take Queenie for a walk down to the corner and you come back with a Safeway cart full of food. You’re like a magician or sage or something. How do you do that?" He would just laugh. His neighbors adored him because I know it wasn’t his dog they enjoyed seeing. He just had a way of making friends.

Dad loved mom. He would do anything for her. And when he wasn’t with us, he was with her. He took her bowling, he took her dancing, he took her out to eat. He took her anywhere and everywhere at anytime and every time. He loved her in a jillion ways.

Dad loved life. And for almost all of his life, he was a salesman. That is what I admire most about him. Now you may be asking yourself, salesman? What is so great about a salesman? Why would I admire that? I could see your point if he were an astronaut, or president or some famous person, but he was just an ordinary guy. He sold things like groceries and appliances. So what is so great about being a salesman? Well, Dad was a natural salesman, and like most of us, (especially salesmen), dad had a dream of becoming rich, very rich. There were times he would say, "If you get some of those, you can sell them and make a jillion dollars." Like so many of us, he liked to dream... but his dream was just for entertainment, something fun to think about. It wasn’t really the money dad was after because money didn’t really mean much to him. He really didn’t pay to much attention to it at all and he usually spent more than he had because he was so generous. If you asked, he would borrow money so he could lend it to you. That is the way he was. He loved to help.

Yes, dad loved a lot of things.... but what he loved most was people. People were at the top of his list. Being a salesmen gave him the opportunity to meet people, and I believe every person he ever met remembers him. He didn’t care about selling you a dishwasher, he cared about you. He didn’t care about selling you a case of green beans, he cared about your spouse and your children and the things that concerned you. He may have made a sale now and then, but what he was really selling, what he was really promoting, what he was really having you walk away with was the most valuable thing on earth. Love. Dad loved everyone. And with every purchase, every encounter, and every conversation he gave his love away as a little bonus. It was his nature. It was his compassion. It was who he was.

Dad’s love for life was filled with his positive attitude. He made everything seem ok. If he was down, you never knew it. If he was hurting, he didn’t complain. If you needed help, he would put you in front of his own needs. It was as if heaven was in him and he would let a little bit out when ever you were with him. It was in his hug, it was in his smile, it was in his attitude. It was in everything he did. He would often say to me, Mick, If I die... not WHEN I die, but IF I die. That is how positive he was. After 89 years he was still going like a train, and just like many of you, because of dad’s positive outlook on life, I never expected this day to come. I was certain he would outlive me and most of us here.

But now, with his passing, we are all saddened and it causes us to wonder.... Is he ok? Is he in heaven? Is he with Mom? Will he send me a sign? So we search our souls, and we search the sky, and we search through books and through our dreams.... looking for a sign. We search for the answer that will bring us peace.

But maybe the answer is obvious. So obvious that we can’t see it. As children of our parents, we inherit our parents genes, our parents houses and our parents money. As children of love, we inherit spirit. All of us, who knew my dad, will never forget him. He made everyone feel special. We will never forget his true and good spirit. He has given us a most precious gift. His love. Now his spirit is in all of us, and as the beneficiaries of his love, it is our responsibility to be more like him. It is up to us to keep his spirit alive... and pass it on to those who follow us, to our children, to our families, to our friends, and to strangers, just as dad had done, so they too, may experience the joy and posses the good fortune of knowing someone like my father. It is up to us to be generous, to be kind, to be accepting, to be patient, to be forgiving and to have a willingness to love unconditionally, without expectations of anything in return. This is the sign we are looking for. This is how we find peace... through understanding. This is the how the kingdom of heaven comes to earth, by the perpetual descending of the spirit, passed down through the generations, an inheritance that accumulates with each generation.... a love... first bequeathed to us by Jesus.

So you ask me, what is so great about being a salesman? I’ll tell you. My dad was a salesman, and he may not have become rich selling appliances, and he may not have become wealthy selling groceries, but if you count his friends, and you count the people who were affected by his life, and you count the people who truly love him, you can say without exaggeration, without embellishment, and without the slightest stretch of truth, he was a jillionaire.... because he sold love... for free.